Standing on One Leg

So we've done it. We have about 2/3 of the movie shot.

Today is the first day in 9 days that I haven't been shooting and it feels really weird. Somewhere in the last two or three days of production, it occurred to me that I'm doing exactly what I want to do for a living. It's really intense, and you have long hours, and you get worn out and I think I averaged about 6 hours of sleep a night all week, but I was never tired. I never wanted to stop or take a break. That's why today is weird. I want to jump right back into the second leg and get the rest of the movie. I love the atmosphere of being on set. The pressure, and the close group of people working hard for something they believe in. It's like a weird dream to look back on. It's so far removed from normal life. But I think that's what I like about it. I'm spent way too many days leading up to last week sitting in my apartment, writing, and planning, and getting everything where it needed to be, and I got tired of it. It's working towards a goal, but it's really far removed from it and you don't get any of the gratification. It's also a comparatively lonely experience. But for me it was really nice to sit down at the end of the day talking with the cast/crew and thinking to myself, "yes, this is exactly what I want to be doing with my life." It's a great feeling because there's a lot of second guessing going on at this point in my life, when practicality clashes with dreams.


I've started a rough cut of what we have so far. It looks good. Really good. I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it feels like it's turning out exactly like it should. You can never tell what it will be beforehand. You can take educated guesses, and then you can think of your ideals, and you incorporate the reality of the production and you get your product. This feels like a well balanced mix between all of that. I'm happy with it.

It's weird how despite not really being conscious of it, I've got a definite style. This film is certainly more professional than anything I've done, but even in just the 5 minutes of the film I have cut together right now, it feels really familiar. I see similarities to "Making Of," but in a good way. It's reassuring because a lot of times I feel like I'm ripping off other styles a lot, but I think I have something my own.

But it's a weird kind of depressing day today. I got to sleep in, I'm home alone with just me and my footage. And I'm working on it, but I'm missing the hustle and bustle and what I like to think of as kind of fighting to make this film.

Like yesterday was a crazy day, but one I'm really glad we had for this production. It was 100% pure guerrilla filmmaking. The kind of stuff that other people quit when the shit hits the fan. We started at the airport, which was easy, except we were going to shoot a plan landing and it landed early so we missed it and would have had to wait another 2 hours for the next one (we're probably coming back to that one). We shot in a Bed, Bath, and Beyond without permission, eventually getting confronted and told we couldn't shoot there...but after we got everything we needed. The liquor store we had scheduled was unexpectedly closed (we found out after our actor for the scene had driven in from Arkansas to shoot) so we had to find another location, called about 5 other liquor stores, which all turned us down, went to one that said yes, but changed their minds when we got there, and ended up at a local market that is closed on Sundays, but they opened for us to shoot after Hunter begged them on the phone. So we got a private location in the end, which probably worked out even better. Then we ended the day shooting in a Target parking lot getting in a lot of people's way and being stalked by the guy that ratted us out in the Bed, Bath, and Beyond store. It felt like high school again, but in a good way. A sense of danger and a feeling that we might not get what we needed because of all of the things we couldn't control without a Hollywood machine backing us up. It was one of those days where I think a lot of people would have given up or changed the script around to fit the circumstances, but we fought to do it just like we wanted and we got it.

I enjoy those fights...probably more so after they're proven successful though.