2nd Time Around

The Slamdance deadline is Friday. I worked about 10 hours on the movie today. Can't remember the last time I worked that much in one day.

All the ADR and Foley is done. Everything is mixed except I have to do a final pass-through of the last 20 minutes tomorrow.

Then the audio is done except for some final music tracks from Ben. But music is easy to ad now that all the dialogue and sound fx are mixed.

I still haven't done the model shot. But I'll probably do that next weekend. It should only take a few hours.

And I have to make a few small adjustments to the credits.

But we're probably 95% done. With the whole damn thing. Which is pretty huge for me. I'm getting really excited.

I also started assembling the "Making Of" documentary. I was worried we wouldn't have enough good stuff because we didn't have a dedicated documentarian, but going back through everything there's actually a ton of stuff that we grabbed between scenes and when doing big things like putting the ship together. I'm excited to go through the hours and hours of footage and grab little tid-bits of stuff. It'll be nice to go through it all again with different intentions, looking for different things. But I've been putting sequences online as I find them/cut them. So I'll probably end up putting all of the significant making of stuff online at some point and then just have it compiled in a nice hour long or so documentary for the DVD.

It's weird to be getting close to the end. I had found a way to deal with not being very productive on it and carrying on with things. I had been working n it so long that I had gotten used to always having something to do on it. Always knowing I'll eventually finish it. It's sort of a similar feeling as it was to finishing preproduction and the week or so leading up to shooting the movie. So much work and so much time and so much procrastination and then it was eventually there and it felt weird. That's where I'm at right now.

And it's storming outside. The filmmaking gods are celebrating.

Still Listening?

My goal: Final Cut by Sunday. All my audio work and everything done by then. Probably still have some music in the works after that, but I'll be done. I'm sure everyone else is thinking "that means 2 more months," and you might be right....For some reason the urgency of completing the film has faded.


The weird thing is I'm more excited about getting started on my new project than I am about releasing this one. Not to imply it's no good, but the closer I get to "completion" the more I feel like I've learned everything and am ready to move on.

But I have settled on a new project and am ready to start writing again. It's gonna be a fun one. Anyone have Bill Murray's number?

Retrospect

The other day I read through all of the posts.

It's interesting to be able to sort of look at yourself and read yourself like that...especially when in the specific context of this movie project.

My initial reaction is that I think to much. If I'm not working, I'm thinking about working, and thinking about why I'm not working. In fact that's the motivation behind most of my posts...including this one.

But I found it validating that while I don't seem to excel at working on my own or doing preproduction or post, the one period I seemed most excited about was production itself. That's ultimately my motivation to make movies from a job point of view. That really is the surreal and fun part. I don't write movies so that I have something to write or shoot them so that I can sit around and edit. I write and edit so that I can shoot movies. That's where it's at. Granted the art of crafting an original story is really the guts of it, production is the process of that art that is the most fulfilling.

It's interesting to me how a lot of the problems I had in preproduction are very similar to those I have now in post. Mainly too much free time, doing everything myself, and dreaming of shooting something. I'm totally ready to move on.

It makes you wonder about yourself though. When you have trouble doing what you want to do when you're doing it on your own. I think it might be that I don't feel I have to perform for myself. I know what I'm capable of and what I want. So I have trouble putting myself under my own pressure and my own deadlines. It's hard to be your own boss.

But If You Try Sometimes...

So the movie isn't even out yet, and some big opportunities are already starting to find their way in my lap because of it. Hopefully more on that soon.

Some smaller ones too. It's weird to me how many people want to use you as a technical resource after you make a feature...like as though videography is what you're really wanting to do and the feature was just a way for you to play with your toys...not the reason all of your technical skills have been developed in the first place. I wonder if famous directors ever get requests from friends or friends of friends or family members to film events and whatnot. Or DPs getting asked to take pictures in random situations since they're the ones that are good at it. Just imagine some famous DP being handed a Cybershot in some mall somewhere. Ugh. Not that anybody in a mall would typically recognize a DP...Do people frequently ask lawyers for their opinions on morally ambiguous things? Or do people expect writers to write especially good thank you notes or Christmas cards? I've got it doubly annoying since I'm also a graphic designer. I went to a film-related event the other night where I was offered 2 freelance design jobs after having conversations with people about having just shot a feature film. It was annoying. I guess I'm fortunate to have choices though. I've just always had a very clear idea of what I wanted to do and have always pursued that in what to me was the most direct way possible, and so far it's been working well for me, but at every turn there are always people who don't get it who seem to be unintentionally derailing me by giving me "opportunities." Like what I'm doing is all good an well, but here's a real job. The point of this whole film was for me to prove to myself and those around me that this isn't just some hobby or obscure dream or interest. This is something I want to do and am fully capable of doing. And it seems to be working. I can see a pay off. I'm not sure where it'll lead yet (or if I'm making it sound better than it is). But I've received some gratifying opportunities and recognition because I've stayed on this path.

I suppose it's sort of selfish to only use your talents to serve yourself and your own goals...but I see it as the necessary point of it all. I wouldn't have these talents if I wasn't trying to get myself where I'm trying to go. They're simply a means to an end. Like I've blogged about before. I don't actually ever want to do sound mixing again...but I can mix sound (though it's probably my weakest skill). So then if you asked me to mix you some sound for your sister's school project, should I/would I?

Maybe I'm too friendly about it. Actually, I've realized that I'm just not very good at telling people no. I'm a "yes" man. It's what makes me so good at my job. Anytime anybody asks for anything, I tell them I can do it. Even if I don't have time or I have too much else to do. Because that's who I am to myself. If I want something, I try my best to make it happen. A few weeks ago I decided I wanted a standalone turntable console (like an old fashioned record player). I found one (and only one) online for $300 and decided it was worth it and ordered it. It got here and I tested it out. Radio was great. CD Player was great. Then I tried a record on it. It was shit. I didn't want to send it back. It's big, it's cool. It was the only one. And it's a nice design. I just really wanted it to work right. So I decided, even though I'm not a carpenter or electrician, that I was going to "fix" it. I already had a turntable hooked up to my surround sound system, which sounded great, but it wasn't very accessible for changing/flipping records and required turning on too much other equipment to be practical for casual record listening. So I took an electric saw to my old deck...trimmed off the excess plastic on the sides, tore out the new player in the console, cut out part of the back of the new console to make room...installed a shelf for it and wired it into the existing electronics so it still worked with the buttons on the console. Then I also installed some better speakers inside it. Most people probably would have returned it. It's not the prettiest job, but I wanted a result and I made it happen. The other day, I decided to repair my washing machine myself. Never fixed an appliance before. It was hard. I got really mad. But I did it.

That mentality is in everything I do. Perhaps I'm disillusioned, but I always think there's a way. I think it also boils down to not being afraid to fail or being afraid of criticism. I'm okay breaking a $300 record player or washing machine in an attempt to live up to my expectations for myself. To me breaking it and learning why is more valuable than not trying at all. But I'll admit that maybe that's a luxury I have coming from the background I have. If I break my washing machine, I'm not going to be unable to wash clothes for a long time. I can afford a new one. It'll suck a little, financially speaking, but I'll recover...and pretty quickly.

It was weird when I had my first job interview that they seemed to want to know what I had done/could do rather than what I was capable of...which isn't as measurable, but I was confident I could find a way to do whatever they wanted. Learn what I need to learn. I mean that was how I came to produce all the work I had done that they could see. I guess it's just odd to me that some people aren't always learning new things or seeking new skills or building on themselves. That people naturally want to see repetition and reliably static results from people. And I guess they expect that because a lot of people are that.

But I feel like for me and for what I look for in other people when casting or crewing up is potential more than anything else. Knowing what I know (or think I know) about myself, it wouldn't be fair to judge people solely on what they've done...especially in film. There are probably more actors who haven't been in movies than actors that have. And it's not always for a lack of talent. What if the current me was funding the past me's movie...or was funding GOS, but wasn't directing. I get an interview with myself and see I haven't made any feature films before. Even worse, everything I've made is either a completely random music video or silly high school comedy or special effects test. A lot of weird and random shit. Most people wouldn't hire me because it wouldn't make business sense based on my history. It's not a bankable decision.

I never counted on people giving me opportunities and me building myself from that. I've created the vast majority of my opportunities for myself. And now because I'm the kind of person who does that, I've starting to get bigger and better opportunities. I think the work you do stems from the kind of person you are. Necessarily so. That's why I think it's sort of sad when people so desperately want to mimic other success people. Do what they did because it worked...when I don't think it's usually what they...at least not strictly speaking...but it's who they are that allowed them to do what they did...so you can look at Avatar (which, for the record, I hated) and try and make your own version of that exact type of movie mimicking as much as you can in an attempt to replicate the results...but the fact is that James Cameron's next movie will inevitably be better than your attempt to mimic him because he's the kind of person that would make Avatar in the first place...He's the kind of person that will be driven to do whatever he does next and in the way he does it. He's the only one that can be him. You have to be you to win.

I don't believe in getting lucky...at least not without also feeling really guilty...and not for a sustainable amount of time.

I wonder how full of myself I sound.