Got There.

This will be the final post on this blog. It will now live forever on the interweb as the chronicles of two years of my life making my first feature film. I will likely do this for all my projects. It's cathartic, and in the end tells me a lot about myself.

I want to make this post a summation of all of my thoughts about GOS. A final critique if you will. With no excuses. There are plenty of reasons why things are the way they were, but that doesn't mean they should be ignored.

I'll start with what didn't work:

-The execution of the story structure. I specify the "execution" because I think I have a pretty strong and well thought out character arc for all three leads. It's a weird story woven together nicely. But the way it plays out is stiff. I move through scenes like a checklist almost, which in editing was a difficult problem to deal with. I tried to use music to make the transitions smoother in some places, but that made it feel tacked on. I should have made the series of events more seamless and natural. Well thought out individual scenes in sequence don't make a story.

-Montage overload. This gets me everytime. I basically sum up all of the ship building in montage form, which doesn't contain as much character or plot as I would have liked. The new year's party is easily the most effective montage in the film because the story takes us there and it has a specific atmosphere that conveys the feelings of that night. Christmas lights montage comes in second. Most other montages are more of a form of showing time pass so the ship can be built, and they lack substance. Instead of using the ship more as a device for action and story elements to come out, I use it as this central structure that everything happens around. It makes for a nice metaphor in how it's progress reflects Neil's progress (the ship is finished the morning after the hot tub and proposal scenes which are where Neil resolves his relationships with Travis and Tara.) But not enough action happens with it. The particle accelerator bit is pretty much the only building conflict they have. I never solved this in the script so when shooting I just improvised "building montages" but I don't think they work that well considering how often I repeat them.

-Sound and Wide shots. This is a tricky one, they're lumped together because I have the similar thoughts. At home I notice all kinds of imperfections in the sound mix. The movie also feels too "wide" to me. Most of it is wide static shots will minimal action. This keeps you from seeing expressions on faces and sets you up to expect more action....however, neither of these were issues at the premiere when watching in a theater on the big screen. The wide shots worked wonderfully on the big screen. You could see everything. It read well. And somehow the sound mix was fine on that system. Almost nothing stood out. So I don't know.

-Don't do everything. This is tricky because it's something that's reinforced to me often, but is simultaneously a source of most of my stress. My experience has proved to me that if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. However this is impractical on a movie. And I've also never really worked in a professional environment. I like to prove projects like GOS can happen though and it only could have happened the way it happened. I like to believe that film can work that way even though nobody else does that. But by giving myself so many jobs, I definitely took away from the important ones. I can only imagine what GOS would have been if I was only directing.

-More time. We shot very efficiently. In fact, it's one of the things I'm most proud of about the project. We shot fast, and we shot everything, and pretty well too. But when I think what another 5 days would have done for it, I really wish I had scheduled them.

-Good conversation isn't a Q&A session. My writing tends to be very back and forth questions and answers. Things are revealed by people asking questions about them. Yes that happens in life, but it's too straightforward. It's more interesting when things are revealed or left to figure out later. The majority of the 20 minutes I cut out was scenes with too much exposition and too many questions. The movie works just fine without those 20 minutes and that proves how much fat I had in the script. I need to be more inventive with my dispersal of information.

-Trust my instincts. This was one of the more profound realizations I had. The stuff I put the most thought into was generally the stuff that worked the worst. Or if it wasn't a large quantity of thought, it was a very technically thought process where I had to work through how I should shoot a scene versus what I just already knew and felt about it. Whenever I just went for it and felt it out organically, it worked the best. The moon scene required almost no thought as far as camera positions and compositions go. Same with the party montage and launch sequence. And these are some of the most effective scenes. Granted they also have a lot of action. Going back to the previous problem, talking heads makes for boring stuff to shoot...that being said, part of the point of the feel of the film was that it would be still and cold and distant for much of the first 2/3's in order to give the ending more gravity (pun intended). But yeah, ultimately is was good to realize that I have pretty good instincts for how to shoot something when I'm thrown into it. I shouldn't over-think it.

-Don't be afraid of old people. I think the biggest giveaway that this was a small production was that all of the characters were roughly the same age, which proves they're all friends or friends of friends. We didn't do any real casting to get older actors to play the cop and the lawyer and the priest, when in reality those would make better juxtapositions for the naivety and immaturity of the main characters (i.e. you have young people in an old people world, the perfect image of growing up).

-Details. I put a huge amount of prep work into preventing inconsistencies. But still, they seep in because I was the prop master and script supervisor in addition to everything else. Most people don't give a shit about details when shooting, but it's a dead give away to an audience who is taken out of a moment because for a second we show we didn't catch a mistake. Suddenly, the production becomes apparent. Some of the biggest inconsistencies to me were Kemer's gum being green in one shot and white everywhere else, his wine bottle clearly being half empty when he gets to the house (this implies he drank some while driving over, which says a ton about his character), and the bow on the bottle was supposed to be the red store-bought one, but it got lost and we had to settle for a silver one spray-painted orange (the closest paint we had to red). And then all of the reflections. Not taking to the time to see that the tripod or me or Danny is in the reflection on a window implies we weren't careful and we imply we didn't care about something, then the audience isn't going to feel like they should.

-Don't take so freaking long. It is what it is. I wrote for too long, and I edited for too long. Production was too short, but was the best part of the whole thing. So much was accomplished in such a short period of time. I'm about to begin writing something I want to shoot in 3 months and have finished by the end of the year. This is going to be quite an interesting project.

So what works? The easy answer is "everything else." Seriously, the amount of stuff "not wrong" with the movie is a huge reason why this project stands out and is taken fairly seriously by people who see it. You can get lost in the movie and watch it as a movie and not just as a favor to your friend. I believe that though I wouldn't exactly have any unbiased input from the public on that. But to me that's the greatest accomplishment. You don't really feel that this project was as small and cheap as it was. There's a spirit to it and an undeniable effort in it that proves we aren't just trying to show off. We're not just putting ourselves on camera or showing that we can do special effects or something. We aren't trying to prove that we can, from a technical perspective, make a movie. That's what most low-budget filmmakers are trying to prove. But we were just trying to prove that we could tell a unique story and I feel like that's what people get out of it. They don't have to feel obliged to support our efforts and people who can make movies, but they can support us because they like the movies we make. That's an extremely important distinction for me - even in Hollywood, it's obvious when a filmmaker like James Cameron is trying to prove a technical feat with Avatar, versus when a filmmaker is just trying to make a good movie like in most good movies, say a David Fincher film. People ultimately respect good stories before good technical skills, and that's where I hope this film falls and where my future projects will fall. I just want enough technical proficiency to where flaws and our act of making the film aren't apparent and don't distract people. Everything else is story.

So with that, I end the journey of GOS. It's kind of weird. I've never spent so much time with a project. But it's done and I can't fucking wait to make something else now. Thanks to everyone who helped make this project what it is. Everyone played an extremely important role and I just hope you all got out of it as much as I did and can take ownership in this project. I would hate for it to have all been to serve me and my goals.

Coming to An End

The premiere is March 27&28 at 7:30pm at the Robinson Film Center.

New 'premiere' trailer:

http://vimeo.com/20632919

DVDs at the premiere with commentary (that I'm listening to right now, actually...i talk too much), feature length 'making of,' and deleted scenes. And that'll be it. All this waiting and work...over like that.

All this blogging will basically be done. The movie done. Unless 5 months down the road when we hear from the last of the fests and we for some reason get in.

Funny thing is that in 5 months, if all goes as planned, I will have shot my second feature. So I guess you could say I'm prepared.

After the premiere, I'll have to start a new blog for that project.

Getting Used to Rejection

Been a while...

Premiere likely in April in Shreveport. Not confirmed yet, so I'm not making any official announcements.

I'll probably shoot to have the DVDs ready at the premiere too. Get those out and the premiere out of the way in one fell swoop.

I hate to say it, but our festival run is looking bleaker and bleaker. Yes we still have 10 or so left to hear from. But we've been rejected from a very diverse group of 5 festivals so far. There's hope, yes, but I'm looking at April as the big hoorah.

I really wanted to premiere at a festival, but we've passed the notification date on the last one I was holding out for with no luck. It sucks because festivals are the reason we didn't premiere 3-4 months ago, when it may have been more appropriate being the holiday season and the one year anniversary of the shoot. By all means the cast/crew don't deserve to wait this long for it, but I was really trying to make it special. Then with a festival screening under our belt, our Shreveport run would have had more credibility, probably could have squeezed more screenings out of it. Would have stood out more.

But the fact of the matter is the movie isn't as good as I wanted it to be. And that's a very difficult thing to wrap your head around. Expectations are tricky. By all means, for what we had and what we did with our limitations, and even probably what we did as far as any project anyone involved has done is concerned, we did a great job. I'm proud of it. But the trick is comparing what's good for you, or what's good me, versus what's good for the collective filmmaking community. We're way behind comparatively.

Well, maybe not. That's the catch too. With festivals you're either in or you're out. You don't know how close you get. I've heard through the grapevine that at least one programmer at SXSW loved it. But we didn't get in. We might have been really close, but that doesn't help us. What was holding us back? Technical stuff? Maybe. It's up to me to figure that out and then turn around and try and do better.

At this point it's been a year and two months since we shot GOS. I've had 14 months to contemplate what we shot and mull it over and make it into the best it could be. And 14 months to find the faults and consider alternatives and dream of the next thing on my list and how I'll make it better. 14 months of thinking about the next project, and not being able to start it because I'm committed to this one. As much as I know everyone wants to see, I'm ready to be done with it.

Is that a terrible attitude to have about your own work, and the work of your peers. Probably. I see it as realistic. I don't dislike GOS at all. Like I said I'm proud of it. But I feel like I'm moving at super speed. I'm ready for something new. Trial and Error. I can't correct my errors if I don't keep trying. So you'll have to forgive me if I don't exude delusions of greatness when the premiere comes about, but I'm not the kind of person that lets myself be blinded by my own ambitions to be a good director. I know it takes more than telling yourself that and making yourself believe everything you do is great. I crave growth and second chances. I like moving on. I like change. That's part of why I like filmmaking. It's something new every time.

It's worth noting that I am finishing up the "Making Of" documentary and in some ways it's almost as interesting to watch as the movie itself (most of what's been completed is available to view online already). Maybe I'm just a little vain and like seeing myself as a director and hearing what I'm like on set...because when doing it, I had no idea. I'm glad we have the process documented. It's always neat to look back at yourself in stressful times doing weird and unique things.

Here's something.

I feel like I need to say something about the movie, but I don't know what I'm going to say yet.

I got the HDCAM and Digibeta copies of the movie in. These only exist for the off-chance that we end up screening at a festival. They require these formats for exhibition. This or 35mm, which would be awesome, but I can't afford that yet.

Speaking of festivals, those are curious things. Some really good stuff comes out of them, but a lot of awful stuff does too. A lot of awful stuff. I'll be heading up to Sundance in a few days to get a glimpse at the competitive landscape, but I already know what a lot of the films are like. This will be my 6th and final voyage to Sundance (unless of course I'm accepted in the future).

I saw Tiny Furniture the other day. In a lot of ways it's sort of a sister project to GOS. It was shot at the same time as GOS with a similar budget, cast/crew of friends, with the same exact camera (significant because it's a new workflow, the camera had been on the market for two months when this project was shot) and set in the writer/director's parents house. The director is the same age as me. Their turnaround was much faster though. This movie was conceived in November, shot in December, and finished in January. It premiered at SXSW last year and won the best narrative feature award scoring it distribution with IFC. Now the director is developing a script for producer Scott Rudin (the guy who produces everything) and is working on an HBO series with Judd Apatow...so I saw the film knowing all of that so as to sort of measure our potential in comparison. I couldn't believe how bad it was. I know a lot of people obviously loved it, but I was surprised. It was rough. In the same sense that GOS is rough. There are times when the script is a little sloppy or when the acting is a little off. There are lots of long rushed takes (though in my opinion, much duller cinematography). I just don't get it. I mean granted we still have a long ways to go in our release (we haven't even heard from SXSW yet), and may see much success, it's just weird to me. It's nice to see that something so similar can have such a good run. That people can recognize the potential in a rough but ambitious project from a young filmmaker.

I guess I should be glad that I don't see myself as being very far from these measures of success, but it frustrating in the sense of trying to figure out what's missing. The fact that their project took all of 3 months from start to finish is a bit frustrating. It kind of makes me feel like I should be dishing out more content since I do have this cheaper workflow. And maybe I will. Not that I believe in needing to follow some sort of model. One of my conundrums in trying to pick what's next is trying to decide what kind of project to do. Like the scale of the production. Part of me wants to keep challenging myself with something bigger. Part of me wants to go smaller and really knock it out of the park. And part of me wants to do the same thing again, but with the experience I gained from GOS. Try and master something at that scale.

The tricky thing about making movies is that you always think you've made your best, and you may, but it's the damnedest thing to try and objectively compare your film to others, to gauge your own abilities. And it's difficult to come to the realization that although you put everything into a project, at the end of the day you've got to wake up and do it again and do it a little bit better. It's easy to think in retrospect how success is about a career of consistency and growth, rather than one shot. But movies are very hard to make, and each shot means a lot.

With my luck some festival programmer is probably reading this and deciding not to program GOS because there's a good chance I'll be back with something better. And they'd probably be right.

Is there music in space?

Here's a taste of composer Ben Clancy's incredible work on the movie:

http://noisysoundrelay.tumblr.com/post/2590737413/i-wrote-and-recorded-the-soundtrack-for-an-indie

These are all b-sides and outtakes as we don't want to spoil the final score.

But Ben deserves a ton of credit. His score glues everything together and he's worked on it for as long as I've been in post. That makes him the only other crew member aside from myself that's spent a year + on this project.

I just hope the movie is good enough for his music.

Getting Out of Space

So if you're wondering, we didn't get into Sundance or Slamdance. In some respects, that's to be expected. If you're really realistic and practical with your expectations, it's to be expected.

I'm not very realistic or practical though...that's why this movie exists.

We still have a lot to go, 11 more fests to be precise, but I guess to me this was one of the most important checkpoints to reach despite whether we got in or not. It was a point of validation. You're not supposed to let much ride on festivals, but for me it's a way of knowing if I'm making a certain kind of product or not. Odds are I'll probably never make a "Sundance Film," but I'll probably still try.

But I guess what I'm trying to get at is that now I feel like in some ways I can move on. When you're making your own film, you never really know what it is. The longer you work on it, the less I think you know. The more you change because the more you re-evaluate. Too much time to second guess. Too much time too look too much into too many things. It'll be a long time before I'll be able to watch GOS with a clear understanding of it.

In my mind Sundance/Slamdance was a litmus test. "Does this thing I did compare in any way that kind of material? Do I really know what I'm doing?" The answer to that specific test is no. In the grand scheme of things does it or should it mean anything? Not really. Except that I have more work to do...which is ultimately the best thing it could mean.

What's weird is how much I realized, once it was done, how much time I had spent with it, and more importantly why. I did too much, expected too much, and tried to cover up too much. What I set out to do was completely absurd. But I'm damn glad I did it.

Does this mean the movie's bad? No. Everyone I've shown it to likes it. Hell, the festival programmers may have even liked it...but you have to absolutely love it to show it. I don't even absolutely love it. I think it's the best thing I could have possibly made at that time in those circumstances. And I'm glad we all made it. It's good. I know the people who made it will be proud of it. And they should be.

And the way things have gone for me, it's possible nothing I make will ever be "good enough" for whatever my artificial standards are. But that's what keeps me trying again. I've taken the test, gotten my grade, now I'm ready to go study for the next one and see if I can do better.

"....wait...but none of us have seen the damn movie yet."

I know. I haven't forgotten. I'm being as strategic as I can. I don't want to rush it. It will premiere somewhere. There are two more fests I hear from in February. If neither of those accept it, we will likely move ahead with a late Feb or March premiere in Shreveport. I know my deadlines are ever shifting, but if we want a shot at a festival premiere we must wait. Unfortunately, getting declined is sort of a double whammy because it also means we have to wait longer to show it. We may do a cast/crew screening sooner, but I'd really rather do it all with an audience. One big bang. In the meantime I'll do my best to keep putting out behind the scenes videos on the website.

And you know...make some new stuff.

Ding

It's done.


Now all I have to do is:
Design the final poster/box art
Finish building the website
Get the imdb page finalized
Get an HDCAM and Digibeta copy made for fests
Finish cutting the second trailer
Cut the making of...put more segments online
Compile the other special features for the dvd (commentary, deleted scenes, etc.)
Create a press kit
Get buttons made
Get t-shirts online
Get limited vinyls of the soundtrack made
Submit to the next 9 festivals on my list...wait to here from them
Get dvds/blu-rays produced
Organize the Shreveport premiere/screenings
Restructure Moviesauce, LLC
Rebuild the Moviesauce Website
Get updated releases from the talent

Finish writing my next project...then make it...so on and so forth.

Just...a....little....bit....more

I think I'm done now. With the movie. Watched my "I think I'm done cut" a few hours ago, made a full page list of tweaks and tweaked them. I have a single sound effect to do for the moviesauce logo at the beginning...but that doesn't really count as "the movie."

And there's one track I'm waiting on from Ben which is just a refined version of the title song. So once that's done, I just got to pop it in and we'll be ready for business.


In the meantime, we're waiting to hear from festivals...first notifications come in December and I'll basically be getting a steady stream every month through May for various fests....Then there's a few month break (where I may be screening) and then I'll be hearing from the fall festivals.

In total I'm looking at submitting to 13 fests. We ought to be able to get into several of them. But they're basically all spread out over the entire 2011 calendar...so with any luck we'll be screening it in various cities all year next year...with a Shreveport premiere happening as soon as we have our first festival screening and the world premiere status is gone.

My marketing efforts are also about to increase...with festivals come press kits and promo materials. which means money on printing cool stuff like postcards and one-sheets (with hopefully a new/official design coming) and buttons and t-shirts and maybe even vinyl soundtracks as I've been talking to Ben about doing.

Finishing the website is up there too. And as soon as we get into our first festival, I'll be releasing a new trailer too.


The only bad news is we may not have any DVDs to dish out until late 2011 because of festival policies.


But the counter good news is that with the movie completed, I'll be focusing all my creative energy on that new project. It's been evading me, but I think I'll be able to get down and dirty with it once GOS is off my conscience.

...Outer Space

Had an interesting revelation when looking up the trailer on youtube.

When you search for "Getting Outer Space trailer" the other results that come up are for "Plan 9 From Outer Space," "It Came From Outer Space," "Teenagers From Outer Space," "I Married a Monster From Outer Space," and "Killer Clowns From Outer Space."

This is just awesome. And that's not sarcastic.

As many of you know, our title has been around well before the movie. It was one of the first things I came up with when I first wrote the short film back in 2005/2006. It's a great title. That's why I kept it. The idea behind it has always been the slight play on words with the first part being "Getting Out" which can then be sort of thought as "Getting Out to Space," which is what your motivation is when building a spaceship. Also, more straightforward is just thinking of "outer space" as an idea/goal/mindset that is obtained. In some ways the title is laying out the plot and that "outer space" is the end goal of the movie...whatever that may represent. This story has existed in probably 30 different conceptual forms in my head over the years, but it's always at its core been about someone building a spaceship as an emotional escape (because doing it for real is absurd...which is also what i like about it). So whether the ship literally takes off and the person literally "gets out" or not, the idea and process of building it is a distraction and escape from real world problems. The ship is both literally and metaphorically a vessel to escape the world.

In this iteration of the story it's also a theme with the father and Neil both leaving/trying to leave their current lives for something else. Escapism is a major theme.

But that's all to say why it's always been essential for me to spell out "Outer Space" rather than refer to more common shorthand of just "Space". The suggestion of "Out" is core to the whole title.

And apparently spelling out "Outer Space" in a title kind of puts you in this category of kitschy space movies. Particularly old fashioned black and white ones. Since most of the actual space references in the movie are inspired by retro sci-fi, this is really actually an awesome thing. It's the sort of thing you'd expect was intentional, but it actually never crossed my mind until now. But now when you search for movies with "outer space" in the title, our movie will be lumped in with these genre films which are the foundation for our visual/cultural interpretation of "space."

It's very cool to me.

2nd Time Around

The Slamdance deadline is Friday. I worked about 10 hours on the movie today. Can't remember the last time I worked that much in one day.

All the ADR and Foley is done. Everything is mixed except I have to do a final pass-through of the last 20 minutes tomorrow.

Then the audio is done except for some final music tracks from Ben. But music is easy to ad now that all the dialogue and sound fx are mixed.

I still haven't done the model shot. But I'll probably do that next weekend. It should only take a few hours.

And I have to make a few small adjustments to the credits.

But we're probably 95% done. With the whole damn thing. Which is pretty huge for me. I'm getting really excited.

I also started assembling the "Making Of" documentary. I was worried we wouldn't have enough good stuff because we didn't have a dedicated documentarian, but going back through everything there's actually a ton of stuff that we grabbed between scenes and when doing big things like putting the ship together. I'm excited to go through the hours and hours of footage and grab little tid-bits of stuff. It'll be nice to go through it all again with different intentions, looking for different things. But I've been putting sequences online as I find them/cut them. So I'll probably end up putting all of the significant making of stuff online at some point and then just have it compiled in a nice hour long or so documentary for the DVD.

It's weird to be getting close to the end. I had found a way to deal with not being very productive on it and carrying on with things. I had been working n it so long that I had gotten used to always having something to do on it. Always knowing I'll eventually finish it. It's sort of a similar feeling as it was to finishing preproduction and the week or so leading up to shooting the movie. So much work and so much time and so much procrastination and then it was eventually there and it felt weird. That's where I'm at right now.

And it's storming outside. The filmmaking gods are celebrating.

Still Listening?

My goal: Final Cut by Sunday. All my audio work and everything done by then. Probably still have some music in the works after that, but I'll be done. I'm sure everyone else is thinking "that means 2 more months," and you might be right....For some reason the urgency of completing the film has faded.


The weird thing is I'm more excited about getting started on my new project than I am about releasing this one. Not to imply it's no good, but the closer I get to "completion" the more I feel like I've learned everything and am ready to move on.

But I have settled on a new project and am ready to start writing again. It's gonna be a fun one. Anyone have Bill Murray's number?

Retrospect

The other day I read through all of the posts.

It's interesting to be able to sort of look at yourself and read yourself like that...especially when in the specific context of this movie project.

My initial reaction is that I think to much. If I'm not working, I'm thinking about working, and thinking about why I'm not working. In fact that's the motivation behind most of my posts...including this one.

But I found it validating that while I don't seem to excel at working on my own or doing preproduction or post, the one period I seemed most excited about was production itself. That's ultimately my motivation to make movies from a job point of view. That really is the surreal and fun part. I don't write movies so that I have something to write or shoot them so that I can sit around and edit. I write and edit so that I can shoot movies. That's where it's at. Granted the art of crafting an original story is really the guts of it, production is the process of that art that is the most fulfilling.

It's interesting to me how a lot of the problems I had in preproduction are very similar to those I have now in post. Mainly too much free time, doing everything myself, and dreaming of shooting something. I'm totally ready to move on.

It makes you wonder about yourself though. When you have trouble doing what you want to do when you're doing it on your own. I think it might be that I don't feel I have to perform for myself. I know what I'm capable of and what I want. So I have trouble putting myself under my own pressure and my own deadlines. It's hard to be your own boss.

But If You Try Sometimes...

So the movie isn't even out yet, and some big opportunities are already starting to find their way in my lap because of it. Hopefully more on that soon.

Some smaller ones too. It's weird to me how many people want to use you as a technical resource after you make a feature...like as though videography is what you're really wanting to do and the feature was just a way for you to play with your toys...not the reason all of your technical skills have been developed in the first place. I wonder if famous directors ever get requests from friends or friends of friends or family members to film events and whatnot. Or DPs getting asked to take pictures in random situations since they're the ones that are good at it. Just imagine some famous DP being handed a Cybershot in some mall somewhere. Ugh. Not that anybody in a mall would typically recognize a DP...Do people frequently ask lawyers for their opinions on morally ambiguous things? Or do people expect writers to write especially good thank you notes or Christmas cards? I've got it doubly annoying since I'm also a graphic designer. I went to a film-related event the other night where I was offered 2 freelance design jobs after having conversations with people about having just shot a feature film. It was annoying. I guess I'm fortunate to have choices though. I've just always had a very clear idea of what I wanted to do and have always pursued that in what to me was the most direct way possible, and so far it's been working well for me, but at every turn there are always people who don't get it who seem to be unintentionally derailing me by giving me "opportunities." Like what I'm doing is all good an well, but here's a real job. The point of this whole film was for me to prove to myself and those around me that this isn't just some hobby or obscure dream or interest. This is something I want to do and am fully capable of doing. And it seems to be working. I can see a pay off. I'm not sure where it'll lead yet (or if I'm making it sound better than it is). But I've received some gratifying opportunities and recognition because I've stayed on this path.

I suppose it's sort of selfish to only use your talents to serve yourself and your own goals...but I see it as the necessary point of it all. I wouldn't have these talents if I wasn't trying to get myself where I'm trying to go. They're simply a means to an end. Like I've blogged about before. I don't actually ever want to do sound mixing again...but I can mix sound (though it's probably my weakest skill). So then if you asked me to mix you some sound for your sister's school project, should I/would I?

Maybe I'm too friendly about it. Actually, I've realized that I'm just not very good at telling people no. I'm a "yes" man. It's what makes me so good at my job. Anytime anybody asks for anything, I tell them I can do it. Even if I don't have time or I have too much else to do. Because that's who I am to myself. If I want something, I try my best to make it happen. A few weeks ago I decided I wanted a standalone turntable console (like an old fashioned record player). I found one (and only one) online for $300 and decided it was worth it and ordered it. It got here and I tested it out. Radio was great. CD Player was great. Then I tried a record on it. It was shit. I didn't want to send it back. It's big, it's cool. It was the only one. And it's a nice design. I just really wanted it to work right. So I decided, even though I'm not a carpenter or electrician, that I was going to "fix" it. I already had a turntable hooked up to my surround sound system, which sounded great, but it wasn't very accessible for changing/flipping records and required turning on too much other equipment to be practical for casual record listening. So I took an electric saw to my old deck...trimmed off the excess plastic on the sides, tore out the new player in the console, cut out part of the back of the new console to make room...installed a shelf for it and wired it into the existing electronics so it still worked with the buttons on the console. Then I also installed some better speakers inside it. Most people probably would have returned it. It's not the prettiest job, but I wanted a result and I made it happen. The other day, I decided to repair my washing machine myself. Never fixed an appliance before. It was hard. I got really mad. But I did it.

That mentality is in everything I do. Perhaps I'm disillusioned, but I always think there's a way. I think it also boils down to not being afraid to fail or being afraid of criticism. I'm okay breaking a $300 record player or washing machine in an attempt to live up to my expectations for myself. To me breaking it and learning why is more valuable than not trying at all. But I'll admit that maybe that's a luxury I have coming from the background I have. If I break my washing machine, I'm not going to be unable to wash clothes for a long time. I can afford a new one. It'll suck a little, financially speaking, but I'll recover...and pretty quickly.

It was weird when I had my first job interview that they seemed to want to know what I had done/could do rather than what I was capable of...which isn't as measurable, but I was confident I could find a way to do whatever they wanted. Learn what I need to learn. I mean that was how I came to produce all the work I had done that they could see. I guess it's just odd to me that some people aren't always learning new things or seeking new skills or building on themselves. That people naturally want to see repetition and reliably static results from people. And I guess they expect that because a lot of people are that.

But I feel like for me and for what I look for in other people when casting or crewing up is potential more than anything else. Knowing what I know (or think I know) about myself, it wouldn't be fair to judge people solely on what they've done...especially in film. There are probably more actors who haven't been in movies than actors that have. And it's not always for a lack of talent. What if the current me was funding the past me's movie...or was funding GOS, but wasn't directing. I get an interview with myself and see I haven't made any feature films before. Even worse, everything I've made is either a completely random music video or silly high school comedy or special effects test. A lot of weird and random shit. Most people wouldn't hire me because it wouldn't make business sense based on my history. It's not a bankable decision.

I never counted on people giving me opportunities and me building myself from that. I've created the vast majority of my opportunities for myself. And now because I'm the kind of person who does that, I've starting to get bigger and better opportunities. I think the work you do stems from the kind of person you are. Necessarily so. That's why I think it's sort of sad when people so desperately want to mimic other success people. Do what they did because it worked...when I don't think it's usually what they...at least not strictly speaking...but it's who they are that allowed them to do what they did...so you can look at Avatar (which, for the record, I hated) and try and make your own version of that exact type of movie mimicking as much as you can in an attempt to replicate the results...but the fact is that James Cameron's next movie will inevitably be better than your attempt to mimic him because he's the kind of person that would make Avatar in the first place...He's the kind of person that will be driven to do whatever he does next and in the way he does it. He's the only one that can be him. You have to be you to win.

I don't believe in getting lucky...at least not without also feeling really guilty...and not for a sustainable amount of time.

I wonder how full of myself I sound.

A Year Ago

A year ago I was making the decision of what camera I would shoot this movie on. Choosing to invest in the Canon 7D which was only weeks from being released, and was a pretty big risk being new untested hardware (both for me and the rest of the filmmaking world), a new workflow, and a new set of equipment costs and workarounds.

I can safely say now that it was the right choice.


Yes, we got mailed off to Sundance in time. It is officially "in consideration" meaning it got there and was labeled correctly and they have my $100 submission fee. Now sit around until Dec. 6th to find out more...

So is it done? Not really. Still waiting on sound. I've grown to hate sound. It's just not something I can get excited about like everything else. I don't have an ear for good sound or something. I'm just uninformed, inexperienced. I keep learning new things and then make more work for myself. But really, only a few original sound effects I did were at all fun to do. And that is satisfying...to not rely on stock recordings, but record new stuff and use pieces from things we recorded on set.

For example, for the big launch sequence I was always planning to have some heavy mechanical sounds for the spaceship turning on, "launching," etc...spaceship sounds. I kept putting it off, and then I realized after getting some additional shots with the ship of some fireworks going off in the rocket engine hole thing, that the fireworks sounds were just right. I manipulated some and used some of the one we recorded when we got our stock fireworks footage at new year's and suddenly this little choice actually has a lot of impact on the film itself narratively speaking. If the sound effects were too pro and too mechanical it might not have been believable...which maybe was okay, given the context, but now there's an implication that the ship itself is propelled by fireworks...which is something I had never considered, but makes perfect sense given the context of the movie. It's something I can't believe I had thought about. It just adds another layer of story and completeness to it.

So that was a good sound moment....and figuring out how to filter the space helmet voice...since that was determining how an entire character sounded.

I'm giving some stuff away probably, but oh well.

The rest of the sound sucks. Everything else I can handle, but sound isn't my cup of tea. I guess it's sort of the pinnacle of the technical post-production process to me...I mean color correction at least is a visual thing that requires a trained eye, but you can't look at sound and that bothers me.

Also, the music is awesome. Ben has been slaving away at what I think is a lot of his best material yet. There's some really great stuff.

I love getting that complete package of original material. Everything about this movie is unique and a specific flavor. The music is kind of the last part of that, but it's essential to the movie's overall identity. And it's really good.


But yeah, it feels like I've been working on this for way too long. I know everyone wants to see it. I want to be done with it just as much. It's kind of the price I pay for doing it all myself (except the music). But it does make great business sense. If I can do it and do it well enough, then I'm paying myself and that's as cheap as I can get. Most people making feature films under $20,000 aren't trying to do what we did. There's a lot of documentary and mockumentary stuff...real world stuff. This was a pretty minimalist production. Certainly working with what we had, but the difference is that 90% of this movie doesn't feel that way. And I think the implications of what we could do with more money are pretty promising. I mean doubling our budget is still microscopic by most standards.

It feels good though. I think I made a good movie. I'm not holding out for any kind of huge success with it. I know it's not really going to sell. But it's a strong movie. A strong idea. Solid execution. It's ballsy and passionate. I think we captured that we all really wanted to make this. We weren't just doing something to do it. There's something worth being made in this and I think somehow that comes through. I'm proud of it. I'm proud of taking the chance to make it, and forcing myself to do it right. To do it to the best of my capabilities and be able to look back and really see what those capabilities are. Now I'm confident I can make a life out of this. And that's what I set out to prove...



Also, sorry about the website being messed up. It's been like that for a month or so and will probably be so for another month. I'm not letting myself touch it until the movie is 100%, and I'll need the next few weeks to do that. Then I can switch gears to "marketing."

A lot of people I think have this impression that movies are simple to make. Once you've gotten the pieces together and shot it, then it's easy. But honestly, I think the production was the easiest part. It was the most intense, but it's easier to focus and power through it when you have a team of people around you counting on you. You think when shooting that once it's done, it'll be gloriously easy, but post-production has really been tough for me. A long spread out process for me where I'm rarely able to dedicate time to it and focus, and when I do I realize just how big of a project this is and just how much work I've signed myself up for...I had the rough cut done 4 months ago. And it took that long to get there too. I never thought it would take this long. I never thought I'd learn so much about editing either. In a lot of ways I feel like this was my first real editing job.

Preproduction was kind of grueling too. Of course, it was me working for myself again on my own time. But there's a lot of pressure the to put together something that's worth the effort of the subsequent phases. Write something worth people's time to make and watch. Oddly, I think that's something that most people don't put nearly enough stake in. And then there's finding a way to pull it off....which is stressful for obvious reasons. Production itself is actually really the highlight. It's playtime. You work to get there and work to get out of there, and yes you work a lot during it, but to me it's the fun part. It's when you're in the moment...you don't have time to think and correct and over-correct like you do in pre and post...it's instinctual. it's fast-paced. It's physical. You're there, you're making it, it's real. There's something surreal and kind of glamorous about it. It's what you see in your head when you think about making movies...but it's the most compressed part. You don't get very much of it.

But anyway, even now, I think people probably think I must be done. I sent it off to Sundance. And while yeah, you can round up and say the movie is basically done. There's really a 4th stage of production when you're doing it all yourself and that's marketing. Researching/Tracking/Submitting to festivals. Coming up with a schedule, press kit, promo materials, any kind of viral marketing materials, videos, the website, etc. Then there's the DVD stuff. I'm going to be putting together a whole big making of documentary and recording some commentaries, whatever I can get. Once the fest part is done, there's the final distribution efforts, which will more than likely be straight to DVD sales, but that's still work.

But it's all paid off. I hope it can pay off in some sort of a big way. Sundance would be cool, but I know better than to get my hopes up for that. I've got all I need in terms of personal growth from this project and I'm really ready to what I've learned and put it into a new project. I've got this burning sensation to shoot something again. And it's Fall** now, so watch out.




**for the uninitiated, Fall is filmmaking season. At least, in Shreveport where the winter's too cold and wet and the summer is hot and humid for any kind of positive shooting experiences...but fall...all like 4 weeks of it, is prime creative time...we should have some kind of annual filmmaking thing in the fall...

One Week

Sundance deadline is a week from tomorrow. I'm gonna mail it Tuesday.

So the film must be pretty close to done then?

Well...

Sort of.

In the future I won't do sound. I can pull it off, I just decided I really don't like it. Actually, there's a lot of stuff that next time I'd rather not do myself. Hopefully, I'll have the luxury of not having to.

I think my problem is lack of experience in this field. I don't have an ear for good sound. I know most of our recordings are relatively high quality. But I've become obsessive over it. Individually removing minor microphone bumps...trying to match the bass in the ambient room noise between audio clips. The kind of stuff I imagine sound people do, but I'm not sure where to draw the line. I've watched the movie several times and never noticed any glaring audio issues.

It makes it hard to finish when you have a lot of little tweaks that can probably stand to not be done. I think by Tuesday, though, all that should be left will be finalizing the music with Ben...we'll have all the tracks by then, but I reuse a lot of stuff that needs some variation.

I'll be shooting the VFX shots this weekend and getting some final ADR from Cyndee. And not sleeping much I hope. I'm not very good at staying focused. I spoil myself with distractions.

I think I've gotten to the point where the movie has become work...although almost every time I sit down to work on it, I end up making some pretty significant artistic decisions. Even with the sound. I've got some pretty cool credits done. They're simpler than I anticipated doing, but I think they're pretty cool.

It's always weird when you get to a place you've anticipated going, and then you don't really feel like you're there.

I've decided I sort of think in the future. My mind is always a few steps ahead of everything else. Always planning, imagining, etc. But it's hard for me to exist in the moment. Do what needs to be done now and not think about what it's going to be in a day or week or month or year. I'm pretty sure I could go back to blog entries from right before production and talking about how it doesn't feel like I'm about to shoot or be able to pull it off or anything.

I think it's good to always be moving forward though. It's a big part of what has made me who I am and capable of what I do. Everything I do in the present only serves some future me. I don't make a movie and that's it. I cherish it and focus only on it. In fact, a lot of my decisions about this project are about how it will affect my next one. My distribution plan only really serves to get me making another one. As I guess it should. But I know other filmmakers are sometimes relentless about milking their projects dry. Seeking every avenue in desperation. I think that's how you tell if someone is in it as a business/career choice or because they love the medium/love making things. How to make money/be famous should be secondary to how to make something else and make something better.

In two months it will have been a year since we started building the launchpad for the movie. Three months until the one year anniversary of the shoot. That's crazy. I've been working on this project so long. I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to make something new.

Change of Pace

I only work 12 hours a week at my job now. I was going to flat out quit in order to finish this movie, but they want me to help hold down the fort as much as I can while they find a worthy replacement.

I feel kinda bad about leaving. It was a pretty good job. But ultimately it's not what I want to do and isn't as important as this film. That's what it all came down to.

So now, except for 12 hours every week, I'm free (to do what I want) to work on the movie. I've been working part-time on the movie for 8 months. It's very weird to be able to work all day everyday on it. Or work through the night on it and sleep in.

I set up and awesome new office/editing station in my living room. It's interesting to me how much your workspace affects the quality of your work and your motivation to work. For the past two months or so I had been going back out to my parents' house on the weekends to edit in their home theater which has an editing booth in the back. That's a pretty great setup (obviously, right?), but the same reasons I didn't want to move back in with my parents' after college still apply to that unfortunately. I have a spare room in my house that was my home office for a while. But I worked 40 hours a week somewhere else, so it didn't make a whole lot of sense. It wasn't a great space either. I don't like being closed off in my own house. That's what you do in your parents' house.

So I bought a big L-shaped desk (basically doubling my desk space) and moved it into my living room. It sounds strange, but it works really well and we had a spot for it. I also really like to surround myself by my stuff, art/books/movies/posters/toys/etc., all of which is mostly strewn about my living room.

But it's still weird not working full time anymore. There's this guilt of not sticking with the financially stable option. And making movies stills feels like it always did for me. It's fun. It's some kind of self-indulgent hobby where I make stuff I want because I like it. I guess it's sort of incredible that my parents would back me up on this. They've tried their damnedest to train me to think the other way, but while I'm painfully aware of that I still gotta go with what feels right.

It'll be interesting to see my productivity shoot up too. I have to churn through about 6 minutes a day of final sound mix and color correction in order to have it complete for Sundance. So far I'm doing alright. Got the first 6 minutes completed. Which is crazy. To actually have it really really done. Nothing has been that way in 8 months. It's become this thing that people are interested in that I'm always working on and people are always asking about. It will be interesting when it actually exists. I can actually show people. Which is why it's made in the first place.

------------

I'm also glad that I seem to be increasingly ready to gear up for another project. I was wondering if I'd get too burned out from this one to jump right back in. I had convinced myself I'd wait and see what happens with GOS before deciding what to do next. But lately I just kind of feel like "fuck that, I'm ready to make another one."
I don't know where the money will come from, but I'm not that worried about it. I'm ready to write again. I'm thinking of doing a short this fall (filmmaking season) and gearing up for another feature shoot possibly in fall 2011.

It feels good to be a full-time filmmaker again.

How Far We've Come

Tomorrow is the last day of the month before the movie is due to Sundance, the first of the fests I'm submitting to.

That means I have roughly three weeks to get it as good as I can.

The good news is, the current cut is pretty solid. I'll do some more fine-tuning for sure, but I've cut 20 minutes out already and I don't see myself going much further than that. I've solved just about all the problems I needed to with editing.

The big things on the to-do list:
FX Shots - Some inserts of the ship igniting, sparks, etc. Imaginary shots of the ship taking off and crash landing on the moon. These will all be done practically with models. Should be fun. Master of construction/pyrotechnics will be assisting.

Sound - This is a multi-parter. I've got to go through and finish a full run of audio clean-up, then based on what needs it, get ADR from Kemer and Cyndee. I did it already with Steven and could go ahead and do it with everyone, but I don't actually know 100% what I need and don't yet. I'm just ballparking it. I've also got to record/mix foley for the whole movie. This should take a couple days of solid work. I've got to work with Ben to lock in the music and work on a final mix of everything together.

Credits/Titles - This seems easy enough, except I really want to go all out with it. Especially the end credits. I'm also considering doing these practically. Actually drawing out all the names or something, I haven't really figured out the specifics. And honestly this isn't crucial for the screener that's due at the end of the month.But being that this is the first title/credit sequence I've really done since both schooling/working in design, I feel like it's a great opportunity to do something ambitious.

Color Correcting - This is both big and small. On one hand we shot everything really well. For the most part the image I shot is what I wanted, but there are a handful of places that need real "correction," everything else will just be matching shots for consistency sake, and making sure everything feels right. I'm of the school that digital color correction is way abused/overused these days. For something that didn't used to be such a big part of the production process, it's really become overblown, and largely results in people ruining footage and making cheap choices and marketing choices in the use of color. This is an era of everyone having the tools to change their footage and people are doing it in order to give this impression of professionalism. But real professionalism is knowing what you want in advance and shooting it on set.

This leads me onto a tangent: Imperfection. (and before I get into it, that is pretty much all that's left to do in three weeks)

Increasingly, I believe that imperfection is what makes good art good. It's largely a side effect of risk-taking which often goes hand-in-hand with innovation which is often what defines defining works of art.

When you're doing something for the first time, you're never going to get it perfect. But you're going to get something unique. I think that uniqueness stems directly from that imperfection. Because if you believe practice makes perfect, then it also stands to reason that perfection is stale. You can do something enough times that you get it perfect, but I think the first time you do something is probably a lot more human and interesting than when you do it after doing it a bunch of times. The attempt at perfection is ultimately more compelling than perfection itself. Although you could argue that perfection doesn't actually exist and everything is an attempt.

But my point is, that I think it's the artist (in this case filmmakers) that aren't afraid to make a mess of things that make the most interesting things. You can see it in concrete examples like Apocalypse Now, Star Wars, Edward Scissorhands, Reservoir Dogs, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. These are all imperfect films. But they're charmingly imperfect. It's what makes them. I would argue that most directors' early works are their most interesting. It's what defines them and inspires people to support them. Heck, the Criterion Collection has basically made a business out of rereleasing early works.

This isn't to say that director's can't continue to make good films after they've made a name for themselves. I think in some cases they lose a passion that drives their early work because there's a desperation about it. Good directors continue to innovate though. And continue to take risks. Christopher Nolan is a solid example of this. Or Danny Boyle. Each of his films is something entirely different from the last. Tim Burton would be an example of someone who has stopped innovating and just keeps repeating...now without the low-budget charm of his initial innovation.

Wes Anderson, probably my favorite director, is seen by a lot of people as someone who keeps repeating himself. Then again he just made a stop motion kids movie, so I don't think anybody really saw that coming. I may be biased because I'm a sucker for his material, but I'm also most fond of largest critical failure, The Life Aquatic. It's a movie that you can see uncertainty and imperfection in, but that's part of why I think I'm drawn to it. It's kind of a failed attempt (though I use that term lightly as it's my all-time favorite movie), but in falls in line with the themes of the movie. That's why Apocalypse Now works so well. It's as fucked up as the situations and characters within it.

All of this is just to say, I think the idea of having perfect picture or color correction or sound is an overrated side effect of the digital age. The Beatles are probably the greatest band ever, and their music was all recorded mono. Most people today would insist on a stereo mix, but is that really so crucial to quality music? I think you can't be afraid of those things. If I was I don't think I could have made this movie. I'm okay without a Skywalker Sound audio mix. I don't think it's what makes or breaks this film. In fact, I don't think most people will notice.

Now the real kicker, is I'm a huge blu-ray fanatic. I love collecting HD restorations of old films. Who knows where that comes from......well, one could argue that it's knowing you're seeing something as pristine as it'll ever be (or need to be) and it's still not perfect. The blu-ray of Wizard of Oz doesn't hold a match to Avatar, but that doesn't really change the fact that Avatar is a very bad movie.

Trailer Time

So first things first. The new trailer is live:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc2b7J-zH2A

Spread the word, link it, like it, share it, tweet it. We want to get as many early views as possible to increase the snowball effect on youtube.


Also, this past weekend I finished the second cut of the film. It's down to an hour and 45 minutes without end credits.

I've got an ADR session with Kemer this weekend and will soon start heavy folley and mixing work. And shooting some practical special fx shots for the launch sequence.

Things are good right now.

Back from Mars

I don't know what that title's supposed to mean, but here's my first new post in about 7 weeks.

The trailer is probably the big news. It's almost ready. I wish I could give a hard date since the original "end of July" date is here. It's mostly done. I've seen several drafts. We hit some bumps in terms of Hunter's and my conflicting opinions on the overall approach and direction of the trailer, but we've settled on something worthy. I can't wait to see people's reactions.

I'm also cracking away at my second cut of the film. Which so far is already 10. I'd really like to chop off another 10 minutes to make it super digestible. It's a weird experience to really "edit" a film and not just put it together. Especially after writing it and going through some 30 or so drafts of the script. By then you feel like you have it perfect. Like all the extraneous stuff is gone. But then you shoot it and some things end up weak, and then you assemble it and some parts are slow. And then you really start to see what's important for the total experience. It's not just making the story work. It's make the whole experience work and making it flow. Making the important parts stand out. I have a lot of thick scenes of dialogue, which is largely irrelevant to the plot. That was intentional when writing, but I'm finding in the final film it really drags, and I'm trying to cut things down to get to the point and get out as smoothly as possible. I just didn't imagine ever cutting so much or looking at things the way I do now, but it really makes a difference.

It'll be cool to have real deleted scenes though. I actually have an entire scene cut out now. I remember writing the scene in because I thought it was important. Shows what I knew a year ago.

I had my first ADR session with Steven two weeks ago. So he's fully wrapped now. It turns out as I've been playing around in Soundbooth (the software), a lot of the noisier audio is actually pretty salvageable so ADR isn't going to be as extensive as I initially expected. The frustrating thing is that it just takes me so long to get anything done. I only work on weekends. I have friday afternoons off at work, but I'm not sure it's enough. We're just under two months from the Sundance submission deadline. I'm gonna have to find some more time. I still have to do all the FX shots.

I'm still working with Ben on the music too. It's coming along smashingly, but I need to get him the new cut so he can see where things go and start working on scoring it. Right now we've just been focusing on finding the right sound and coming up with themes.

Also, expect a revamp of the official site sometime this fall. I'm not sure why that needed to be said yet.

(I typed some of this on Wendesday, but right now it's 2 AM on Sunday...so excuse the date)

Finding the Time

It's been a whole month since I finished the rough cut. Today was the first time I touched it since.

I have somewhat good reasons. I got a puppy...or found a puppy sleeping on a country road in the middle of the night and decided to keep it. I've also had two of the most stressful weeks at work thus far, which caused me to get a cyst on my tailbone called "jeep seat," from military personnel who road on bumpy roads in crappy seats. I didn't have a crappy seat a work...not great, but I think it was a mix of the time spent in it and high levels of stress...anyway...talking to a surgeon tomorrow about getting the pouch it was formed in removed.

But still, a month is a long time when you consider I've been in post for 5.5 months and I only have 2.5 months left to finish it.

Sure I can classify what I have left as "fine tuning," but there's a lot of nitty gritty technical stuff that frankly takes a lot of time. I probably clocked in 6 hours of work on it today and only got through a 5 minute scene with color correcting and audio editing...also now it's a 2.5 minute scene. But I haven't put in sound effects or finished the audio mix...and that's just one scene from a feature film. I only have some many weekends left to push through this and it's starting to make me worry a little bit.

I need like a month off to just sit at my computer and grind through it.

So I guess the good news is that at least I have one scene almost 100%, but it was a relatively easy scene. No music. Only about 6 shots. No action or heavy foley.

But maybe this pressure is what I need to motivate me. I always work better under pressure...Unfortunately, I have a lot of other things pressuring me right now so editing time and recovery time end up being the same time.


Also, I've upgraded to CS5 since I finished the rough cut which means native DSLR support in premiere...Now I can finally actually edit at full resolution...That's the price of the cutting edge.