I know.

I just blogged yesterday, but it's worth noting that I watched the full first 40 minutes of the movie last night and not to sound conceded but I was really impressed.

I mean in the end it's about the total gestalt experience, and to watch about a third of the movie and have it feel like a real movie that actually is about something sincere and meaningful and see that coming out in it was really exhilarating. And this is just the rough cut. There's no music yet or anything. I still don't want to hype it up too much, but it's looking so far like the story I worked so hard on is actually coming to life on screen, which is as much as I could hope for.

It feels good. I'm also happy that so far it seems like a very unique kind of film and I don't mean that as an excuse for being bad. It really does feel like a movie (which I guess is weird to say), but it feels like just the kind of unique film that would appeal to me that I would pay to see. I know it seems obvious that it should be that since I made it, but I suppose this is just me realizing that I've actually made a real movie for the first time, and there's a good chance it'll actually be good.

Also, from a style point of view I feel like I'm really showing off something unique as well. There are some really bold choices that actually work really well. For instance, there's a 5 minute long conversation between Neil and Travis and it's just them sitting across from each other at a table silhouetted by the window behind them and it's basically the first real conversation they have with each other in six years and both Kemer and Steven do really nice jobs of delivering everything and it just works really well as one long shot. I had extra coverage of close-ups I could cut to, but they just really break the tension and weaken the power of the shot. It makes me think of a 5 minute single shot conversation I did in "making of" which really didn't work...but here' it's a really great shot/scene. I'm also glad to see that I really think I have my own visual style, which borrows a lot from other directors like Wes Anderson, but I don't think people will look at this and say I'm just copying him. It really feels like a mix of all the things I wanted it to be.