2nd Time Around

The Slamdance deadline is Friday. I worked about 10 hours on the movie today. Can't remember the last time I worked that much in one day.

All the ADR and Foley is done. Everything is mixed except I have to do a final pass-through of the last 20 minutes tomorrow.

Then the audio is done except for some final music tracks from Ben. But music is easy to ad now that all the dialogue and sound fx are mixed.

I still haven't done the model shot. But I'll probably do that next weekend. It should only take a few hours.

And I have to make a few small adjustments to the credits.

But we're probably 95% done. With the whole damn thing. Which is pretty huge for me. I'm getting really excited.

I also started assembling the "Making Of" documentary. I was worried we wouldn't have enough good stuff because we didn't have a dedicated documentarian, but going back through everything there's actually a ton of stuff that we grabbed between scenes and when doing big things like putting the ship together. I'm excited to go through the hours and hours of footage and grab little tid-bits of stuff. It'll be nice to go through it all again with different intentions, looking for different things. But I've been putting sequences online as I find them/cut them. So I'll probably end up putting all of the significant making of stuff online at some point and then just have it compiled in a nice hour long or so documentary for the DVD.

It's weird to be getting close to the end. I had found a way to deal with not being very productive on it and carrying on with things. I had been working n it so long that I had gotten used to always having something to do on it. Always knowing I'll eventually finish it. It's sort of a similar feeling as it was to finishing preproduction and the week or so leading up to shooting the movie. So much work and so much time and so much procrastination and then it was eventually there and it felt weird. That's where I'm at right now.

And it's storming outside. The filmmaking gods are celebrating.

Still Listening?

My goal: Final Cut by Sunday. All my audio work and everything done by then. Probably still have some music in the works after that, but I'll be done. I'm sure everyone else is thinking "that means 2 more months," and you might be right....For some reason the urgency of completing the film has faded.


The weird thing is I'm more excited about getting started on my new project than I am about releasing this one. Not to imply it's no good, but the closer I get to "completion" the more I feel like I've learned everything and am ready to move on.

But I have settled on a new project and am ready to start writing again. It's gonna be a fun one. Anyone have Bill Murray's number?

Retrospect

The other day I read through all of the posts.

It's interesting to be able to sort of look at yourself and read yourself like that...especially when in the specific context of this movie project.

My initial reaction is that I think to much. If I'm not working, I'm thinking about working, and thinking about why I'm not working. In fact that's the motivation behind most of my posts...including this one.

But I found it validating that while I don't seem to excel at working on my own or doing preproduction or post, the one period I seemed most excited about was production itself. That's ultimately my motivation to make movies from a job point of view. That really is the surreal and fun part. I don't write movies so that I have something to write or shoot them so that I can sit around and edit. I write and edit so that I can shoot movies. That's where it's at. Granted the art of crafting an original story is really the guts of it, production is the process of that art that is the most fulfilling.

It's interesting to me how a lot of the problems I had in preproduction are very similar to those I have now in post. Mainly too much free time, doing everything myself, and dreaming of shooting something. I'm totally ready to move on.

It makes you wonder about yourself though. When you have trouble doing what you want to do when you're doing it on your own. I think it might be that I don't feel I have to perform for myself. I know what I'm capable of and what I want. So I have trouble putting myself under my own pressure and my own deadlines. It's hard to be your own boss.

But If You Try Sometimes...

So the movie isn't even out yet, and some big opportunities are already starting to find their way in my lap because of it. Hopefully more on that soon.

Some smaller ones too. It's weird to me how many people want to use you as a technical resource after you make a feature...like as though videography is what you're really wanting to do and the feature was just a way for you to play with your toys...not the reason all of your technical skills have been developed in the first place. I wonder if famous directors ever get requests from friends or friends of friends or family members to film events and whatnot. Or DPs getting asked to take pictures in random situations since they're the ones that are good at it. Just imagine some famous DP being handed a Cybershot in some mall somewhere. Ugh. Not that anybody in a mall would typically recognize a DP...Do people frequently ask lawyers for their opinions on morally ambiguous things? Or do people expect writers to write especially good thank you notes or Christmas cards? I've got it doubly annoying since I'm also a graphic designer. I went to a film-related event the other night where I was offered 2 freelance design jobs after having conversations with people about having just shot a feature film. It was annoying. I guess I'm fortunate to have choices though. I've just always had a very clear idea of what I wanted to do and have always pursued that in what to me was the most direct way possible, and so far it's been working well for me, but at every turn there are always people who don't get it who seem to be unintentionally derailing me by giving me "opportunities." Like what I'm doing is all good an well, but here's a real job. The point of this whole film was for me to prove to myself and those around me that this isn't just some hobby or obscure dream or interest. This is something I want to do and am fully capable of doing. And it seems to be working. I can see a pay off. I'm not sure where it'll lead yet (or if I'm making it sound better than it is). But I've received some gratifying opportunities and recognition because I've stayed on this path.

I suppose it's sort of selfish to only use your talents to serve yourself and your own goals...but I see it as the necessary point of it all. I wouldn't have these talents if I wasn't trying to get myself where I'm trying to go. They're simply a means to an end. Like I've blogged about before. I don't actually ever want to do sound mixing again...but I can mix sound (though it's probably my weakest skill). So then if you asked me to mix you some sound for your sister's school project, should I/would I?

Maybe I'm too friendly about it. Actually, I've realized that I'm just not very good at telling people no. I'm a "yes" man. It's what makes me so good at my job. Anytime anybody asks for anything, I tell them I can do it. Even if I don't have time or I have too much else to do. Because that's who I am to myself. If I want something, I try my best to make it happen. A few weeks ago I decided I wanted a standalone turntable console (like an old fashioned record player). I found one (and only one) online for $300 and decided it was worth it and ordered it. It got here and I tested it out. Radio was great. CD Player was great. Then I tried a record on it. It was shit. I didn't want to send it back. It's big, it's cool. It was the only one. And it's a nice design. I just really wanted it to work right. So I decided, even though I'm not a carpenter or electrician, that I was going to "fix" it. I already had a turntable hooked up to my surround sound system, which sounded great, but it wasn't very accessible for changing/flipping records and required turning on too much other equipment to be practical for casual record listening. So I took an electric saw to my old deck...trimmed off the excess plastic on the sides, tore out the new player in the console, cut out part of the back of the new console to make room...installed a shelf for it and wired it into the existing electronics so it still worked with the buttons on the console. Then I also installed some better speakers inside it. Most people probably would have returned it. It's not the prettiest job, but I wanted a result and I made it happen. The other day, I decided to repair my washing machine myself. Never fixed an appliance before. It was hard. I got really mad. But I did it.

That mentality is in everything I do. Perhaps I'm disillusioned, but I always think there's a way. I think it also boils down to not being afraid to fail or being afraid of criticism. I'm okay breaking a $300 record player or washing machine in an attempt to live up to my expectations for myself. To me breaking it and learning why is more valuable than not trying at all. But I'll admit that maybe that's a luxury I have coming from the background I have. If I break my washing machine, I'm not going to be unable to wash clothes for a long time. I can afford a new one. It'll suck a little, financially speaking, but I'll recover...and pretty quickly.

It was weird when I had my first job interview that they seemed to want to know what I had done/could do rather than what I was capable of...which isn't as measurable, but I was confident I could find a way to do whatever they wanted. Learn what I need to learn. I mean that was how I came to produce all the work I had done that they could see. I guess it's just odd to me that some people aren't always learning new things or seeking new skills or building on themselves. That people naturally want to see repetition and reliably static results from people. And I guess they expect that because a lot of people are that.

But I feel like for me and for what I look for in other people when casting or crewing up is potential more than anything else. Knowing what I know (or think I know) about myself, it wouldn't be fair to judge people solely on what they've done...especially in film. There are probably more actors who haven't been in movies than actors that have. And it's not always for a lack of talent. What if the current me was funding the past me's movie...or was funding GOS, but wasn't directing. I get an interview with myself and see I haven't made any feature films before. Even worse, everything I've made is either a completely random music video or silly high school comedy or special effects test. A lot of weird and random shit. Most people wouldn't hire me because it wouldn't make business sense based on my history. It's not a bankable decision.

I never counted on people giving me opportunities and me building myself from that. I've created the vast majority of my opportunities for myself. And now because I'm the kind of person who does that, I've starting to get bigger and better opportunities. I think the work you do stems from the kind of person you are. Necessarily so. That's why I think it's sort of sad when people so desperately want to mimic other success people. Do what they did because it worked...when I don't think it's usually what they...at least not strictly speaking...but it's who they are that allowed them to do what they did...so you can look at Avatar (which, for the record, I hated) and try and make your own version of that exact type of movie mimicking as much as you can in an attempt to replicate the results...but the fact is that James Cameron's next movie will inevitably be better than your attempt to mimic him because he's the kind of person that would make Avatar in the first place...He's the kind of person that will be driven to do whatever he does next and in the way he does it. He's the only one that can be him. You have to be you to win.

I don't believe in getting lucky...at least not without also feeling really guilty...and not for a sustainable amount of time.

I wonder how full of myself I sound.

A Year Ago

A year ago I was making the decision of what camera I would shoot this movie on. Choosing to invest in the Canon 7D which was only weeks from being released, and was a pretty big risk being new untested hardware (both for me and the rest of the filmmaking world), a new workflow, and a new set of equipment costs and workarounds.

I can safely say now that it was the right choice.


Yes, we got mailed off to Sundance in time. It is officially "in consideration" meaning it got there and was labeled correctly and they have my $100 submission fee. Now sit around until Dec. 6th to find out more...

So is it done? Not really. Still waiting on sound. I've grown to hate sound. It's just not something I can get excited about like everything else. I don't have an ear for good sound or something. I'm just uninformed, inexperienced. I keep learning new things and then make more work for myself. But really, only a few original sound effects I did were at all fun to do. And that is satisfying...to not rely on stock recordings, but record new stuff and use pieces from things we recorded on set.

For example, for the big launch sequence I was always planning to have some heavy mechanical sounds for the spaceship turning on, "launching," etc...spaceship sounds. I kept putting it off, and then I realized after getting some additional shots with the ship of some fireworks going off in the rocket engine hole thing, that the fireworks sounds were just right. I manipulated some and used some of the one we recorded when we got our stock fireworks footage at new year's and suddenly this little choice actually has a lot of impact on the film itself narratively speaking. If the sound effects were too pro and too mechanical it might not have been believable...which maybe was okay, given the context, but now there's an implication that the ship itself is propelled by fireworks...which is something I had never considered, but makes perfect sense given the context of the movie. It's something I can't believe I had thought about. It just adds another layer of story and completeness to it.

So that was a good sound moment....and figuring out how to filter the space helmet voice...since that was determining how an entire character sounded.

I'm giving some stuff away probably, but oh well.

The rest of the sound sucks. Everything else I can handle, but sound isn't my cup of tea. I guess it's sort of the pinnacle of the technical post-production process to me...I mean color correction at least is a visual thing that requires a trained eye, but you can't look at sound and that bothers me.

Also, the music is awesome. Ben has been slaving away at what I think is a lot of his best material yet. There's some really great stuff.

I love getting that complete package of original material. Everything about this movie is unique and a specific flavor. The music is kind of the last part of that, but it's essential to the movie's overall identity. And it's really good.


But yeah, it feels like I've been working on this for way too long. I know everyone wants to see it. I want to be done with it just as much. It's kind of the price I pay for doing it all myself (except the music). But it does make great business sense. If I can do it and do it well enough, then I'm paying myself and that's as cheap as I can get. Most people making feature films under $20,000 aren't trying to do what we did. There's a lot of documentary and mockumentary stuff...real world stuff. This was a pretty minimalist production. Certainly working with what we had, but the difference is that 90% of this movie doesn't feel that way. And I think the implications of what we could do with more money are pretty promising. I mean doubling our budget is still microscopic by most standards.

It feels good though. I think I made a good movie. I'm not holding out for any kind of huge success with it. I know it's not really going to sell. But it's a strong movie. A strong idea. Solid execution. It's ballsy and passionate. I think we captured that we all really wanted to make this. We weren't just doing something to do it. There's something worth being made in this and I think somehow that comes through. I'm proud of it. I'm proud of taking the chance to make it, and forcing myself to do it right. To do it to the best of my capabilities and be able to look back and really see what those capabilities are. Now I'm confident I can make a life out of this. And that's what I set out to prove...



Also, sorry about the website being messed up. It's been like that for a month or so and will probably be so for another month. I'm not letting myself touch it until the movie is 100%, and I'll need the next few weeks to do that. Then I can switch gears to "marketing."

A lot of people I think have this impression that movies are simple to make. Once you've gotten the pieces together and shot it, then it's easy. But honestly, I think the production was the easiest part. It was the most intense, but it's easier to focus and power through it when you have a team of people around you counting on you. You think when shooting that once it's done, it'll be gloriously easy, but post-production has really been tough for me. A long spread out process for me where I'm rarely able to dedicate time to it and focus, and when I do I realize just how big of a project this is and just how much work I've signed myself up for...I had the rough cut done 4 months ago. And it took that long to get there too. I never thought it would take this long. I never thought I'd learn so much about editing either. In a lot of ways I feel like this was my first real editing job.

Preproduction was kind of grueling too. Of course, it was me working for myself again on my own time. But there's a lot of pressure the to put together something that's worth the effort of the subsequent phases. Write something worth people's time to make and watch. Oddly, I think that's something that most people don't put nearly enough stake in. And then there's finding a way to pull it off....which is stressful for obvious reasons. Production itself is actually really the highlight. It's playtime. You work to get there and work to get out of there, and yes you work a lot during it, but to me it's the fun part. It's when you're in the moment...you don't have time to think and correct and over-correct like you do in pre and post...it's instinctual. it's fast-paced. It's physical. You're there, you're making it, it's real. There's something surreal and kind of glamorous about it. It's what you see in your head when you think about making movies...but it's the most compressed part. You don't get very much of it.

But anyway, even now, I think people probably think I must be done. I sent it off to Sundance. And while yeah, you can round up and say the movie is basically done. There's really a 4th stage of production when you're doing it all yourself and that's marketing. Researching/Tracking/Submitting to festivals. Coming up with a schedule, press kit, promo materials, any kind of viral marketing materials, videos, the website, etc. Then there's the DVD stuff. I'm going to be putting together a whole big making of documentary and recording some commentaries, whatever I can get. Once the fest part is done, there's the final distribution efforts, which will more than likely be straight to DVD sales, but that's still work.

But it's all paid off. I hope it can pay off in some sort of a big way. Sundance would be cool, but I know better than to get my hopes up for that. I've got all I need in terms of personal growth from this project and I'm really ready to what I've learned and put it into a new project. I've got this burning sensation to shoot something again. And it's Fall** now, so watch out.




**for the uninitiated, Fall is filmmaking season. At least, in Shreveport where the winter's too cold and wet and the summer is hot and humid for any kind of positive shooting experiences...but fall...all like 4 weeks of it, is prime creative time...we should have some kind of annual filmmaking thing in the fall...

One Week

Sundance deadline is a week from tomorrow. I'm gonna mail it Tuesday.

So the film must be pretty close to done then?

Well...

Sort of.

In the future I won't do sound. I can pull it off, I just decided I really don't like it. Actually, there's a lot of stuff that next time I'd rather not do myself. Hopefully, I'll have the luxury of not having to.

I think my problem is lack of experience in this field. I don't have an ear for good sound. I know most of our recordings are relatively high quality. But I've become obsessive over it. Individually removing minor microphone bumps...trying to match the bass in the ambient room noise between audio clips. The kind of stuff I imagine sound people do, but I'm not sure where to draw the line. I've watched the movie several times and never noticed any glaring audio issues.

It makes it hard to finish when you have a lot of little tweaks that can probably stand to not be done. I think by Tuesday, though, all that should be left will be finalizing the music with Ben...we'll have all the tracks by then, but I reuse a lot of stuff that needs some variation.

I'll be shooting the VFX shots this weekend and getting some final ADR from Cyndee. And not sleeping much I hope. I'm not very good at staying focused. I spoil myself with distractions.

I think I've gotten to the point where the movie has become work...although almost every time I sit down to work on it, I end up making some pretty significant artistic decisions. Even with the sound. I've got some pretty cool credits done. They're simpler than I anticipated doing, but I think they're pretty cool.

It's always weird when you get to a place you've anticipated going, and then you don't really feel like you're there.

I've decided I sort of think in the future. My mind is always a few steps ahead of everything else. Always planning, imagining, etc. But it's hard for me to exist in the moment. Do what needs to be done now and not think about what it's going to be in a day or week or month or year. I'm pretty sure I could go back to blog entries from right before production and talking about how it doesn't feel like I'm about to shoot or be able to pull it off or anything.

I think it's good to always be moving forward though. It's a big part of what has made me who I am and capable of what I do. Everything I do in the present only serves some future me. I don't make a movie and that's it. I cherish it and focus only on it. In fact, a lot of my decisions about this project are about how it will affect my next one. My distribution plan only really serves to get me making another one. As I guess it should. But I know other filmmakers are sometimes relentless about milking their projects dry. Seeking every avenue in desperation. I think that's how you tell if someone is in it as a business/career choice or because they love the medium/love making things. How to make money/be famous should be secondary to how to make something else and make something better.

In two months it will have been a year since we started building the launchpad for the movie. Three months until the one year anniversary of the shoot. That's crazy. I've been working on this project so long. I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to make something new.

Change of Pace

I only work 12 hours a week at my job now. I was going to flat out quit in order to finish this movie, but they want me to help hold down the fort as much as I can while they find a worthy replacement.

I feel kinda bad about leaving. It was a pretty good job. But ultimately it's not what I want to do and isn't as important as this film. That's what it all came down to.

So now, except for 12 hours every week, I'm free (to do what I want) to work on the movie. I've been working part-time on the movie for 8 months. It's very weird to be able to work all day everyday on it. Or work through the night on it and sleep in.

I set up and awesome new office/editing station in my living room. It's interesting to me how much your workspace affects the quality of your work and your motivation to work. For the past two months or so I had been going back out to my parents' house on the weekends to edit in their home theater which has an editing booth in the back. That's a pretty great setup (obviously, right?), but the same reasons I didn't want to move back in with my parents' after college still apply to that unfortunately. I have a spare room in my house that was my home office for a while. But I worked 40 hours a week somewhere else, so it didn't make a whole lot of sense. It wasn't a great space either. I don't like being closed off in my own house. That's what you do in your parents' house.

So I bought a big L-shaped desk (basically doubling my desk space) and moved it into my living room. It sounds strange, but it works really well and we had a spot for it. I also really like to surround myself by my stuff, art/books/movies/posters/toys/etc., all of which is mostly strewn about my living room.

But it's still weird not working full time anymore. There's this guilt of not sticking with the financially stable option. And making movies stills feels like it always did for me. It's fun. It's some kind of self-indulgent hobby where I make stuff I want because I like it. I guess it's sort of incredible that my parents would back me up on this. They've tried their damnedest to train me to think the other way, but while I'm painfully aware of that I still gotta go with what feels right.

It'll be interesting to see my productivity shoot up too. I have to churn through about 6 minutes a day of final sound mix and color correction in order to have it complete for Sundance. So far I'm doing alright. Got the first 6 minutes completed. Which is crazy. To actually have it really really done. Nothing has been that way in 8 months. It's become this thing that people are interested in that I'm always working on and people are always asking about. It will be interesting when it actually exists. I can actually show people. Which is why it's made in the first place.

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I'm also glad that I seem to be increasingly ready to gear up for another project. I was wondering if I'd get too burned out from this one to jump right back in. I had convinced myself I'd wait and see what happens with GOS before deciding what to do next. But lately I just kind of feel like "fuck that, I'm ready to make another one."
I don't know where the money will come from, but I'm not that worried about it. I'm ready to write again. I'm thinking of doing a short this fall (filmmaking season) and gearing up for another feature shoot possibly in fall 2011.

It feels good to be a full-time filmmaker again.